The Lost Memoirs of Jane Austen by Syrie James

Author:Syrie James
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780061857430
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2011-08-26T07:31:27+00:00

Misery, I discovered, is a great inducement to art.

Whereas my previous confusion and sadness had inhibited my creativity, now my ability to write returned with a vengeance. Never before had I felt such a burning desire, nay, a requirement to put pen to paper. For days, I wrote in a blind rage, pausing only when need overcame me to eat or drink or sleep.

No longer did I feel any compulsion to soften my character of Willoughby. The world, I had been reminded, was not fair where love was concerned, and never would be. No matter that Marianne loved her Willoughby deeply, no matter that her heart would be broken. I could paint him as a cad and rascal, bereft of conscience, ruled by selfish interests, and be justified. When he married another woman, Marianne could suffer all the pain of rejection and humiliation that I was now feeling.

Of Edward and Elinor’s fate, I experienced a similar awakening. At last, I knew what terrible secret Edward harboured, which kept him from declaring his love to her.

“Good God!” cried Cassandra, when she had finished reading the newest chapters of my book, in which I added two brand-new and quite unlikeable characters, the Steele sisters. “This secret engagement of four years standing, which you have introduced between Edward and Miss Lucy Steele—”

“Do not you think it a brilliant and inspired touch?”

“I do,” agreed Cassandra, “but it is so—”

“Sad? Infuriating? Familiar? A case of life begetting art?”

“I was going to say dark. Your story is much darker than before.”

“Darker fits my mood,” I replied.

A few days before we removed from Southampton, a letter arrived for me. I recognised the handwriting at once as Mr. Ashford’s, and, indeed, the direction indicated that it came from Pembroke Hall, Derbyshire. Whereas I might have once received such a missive with great joy, the sight of it now produced only pain and sickness of heart, followed by coolness and resolve.

“I beg your pardon,” said I, as I turned to the postman and handed the letter back, “but there must be some mistake. This was not meant for me. Please return it to sender.”

“Yes, Miss,” replied the postman, as he took the offending letter and disappeared down the street.

“Whatever possessed you to send it back?” cried Cassandra, when she heard what I had done. “Perhaps he meant to offer an explanation for what has passed. Were you not interested in what he had to say?”

“Not at all,” said I vehemently. “I know the truth already, and however prettily he chuses to word his explanation, it can make no difference. He is bound to another, that is a fact. He will marry her, of that we have no doubt. What can he offer me now, but apologies and a promise of friendship—which would, after the deep attachment I have felt, be quite impossible. No; if my heart is ever to mend, if my mind is ever to be clear again, I must go back to what I was before I met Mr.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.